summer evenings

it is a gorgeous early summer evening and i have all the windows and doors open (the ones with screens anyway) to enjoy the breeze. the birds have been chirping all day, the trees rustling in the wind, and its lovely here. i got to sleep in, eat ice cream, and just made myself the BEST dinner (sauteed chicken, pine nuts and garlic with pesto and angel hair pasta. bellisimo!). today i am supposed to work on 20 pgs of my thesis to turn in monday; i'll get to that i'm sure.
for now, i'm just enjoying the day.
hope you're all having a wonderful MAY so far! xoxo

letters

dear end of the semester,

i waited a long time for you-- the entire semester, in fact. and you have finally come, and i am glad you're here, but i am sad that my coursework for my master's is done. i am also going kind of insane with all the papers i need to work on, etc., when i have no more motivation. and i have no time for friends, blogging, etc., but i'm glad you' re here because it means i get to sleep a lot! my fav thing! huzzah! now its time for you to go away and summer to start so i can have a normal life again, like the one i had pre-grad school. only this time, it's like a real summer vacation! yay!
love,
me

the secret to life

good lord it's been a while!
but you know, life gets in the way of blogging sometimes. important point: who reads this blog? pls please comment and be like "here!" so i know. just curious! xoxo

anyway, grad school is in it's denouement, if you will, and i have literally 1 month left of master's student coursework. then this summer i'm here in williamsburg writing the thesis and i defend in the fall. i'm trying to get a job (other than the Harv) so i can stay here another year and apply for phd's and then fall of 2010 i'll start my PhD program.
ah, plans. how i love them. i also plan to drive up to boston/nyc area in early june and i'm coming home to texas for the end of july/beginning of august. it's funny how i came home during the coldest part of this past year so my heating bill has overall been low, and im going home during the hottest part of the year so presumably my electric bill will be low. nice! i just now thought of it that way, and that's awesome.

so world, springtime in virginia is mighty nice. there are tulips and daffodils everywhere (daffodils in my yard! and i pick them and put them by my computer and its GREAT). i have all the windows open (the cats really love this) and birds are chirping and everywhere (prob. b/c i have 2 birdfeeders out...) and i can hear my wind chimes singing in the breeze...it's really really lovely!

other things in life are not so lovely, but that's okay. this is the secret to life: i'm okay when everything is not okay.

i haven't quite achieved that yet, but i'm trying. and that's the best we can ever do...

Lookin' Fine in 2009

hello pumpkins! im here in houston, enjoying my vacation/working for my dad and things are going well. new years has come and gone and we're in 2009, which i hope will be an awesome year.
did yall make resolutions?
my resolution, as cheesy and cliche as it may be, is to: CHILL OUT and enjoy things. stay up later, be more spontaneous, work harder, stress less, dress up more, take lots of pictures, have fun and enjoy life.

not that i havent been enjoying life, but last semester was tough and now that i understand grad school a little better, i can move forward and enjoy it! im so psyched about my awesome thesis (who doesnt love Twilight?*) and virginia is awesome! (+ it's "for lovers")
so who's coming to visit?? get your bids in quick!

also! cheryl and chandra and anyone else who reads this who i have not yet seen/hung out with: let's hang out soon! i leave for virginia on jan. 18th, so let's make this happen!
xoxo!

*i would like to point out that despite all her reluctance to read the series, my twin sister ended up reading all 4 in like 2-3 days and now LOVES it. HA! she described her boyfriend to me thusly: "i want you to know that my boyfriend is like my jacob" "but womb buddy, why isnt he like your edward?" "because edward doesnt exist and i love native americans"
love it.

"Sorry Professor, My Cat ATE My Homework..."

oh, stella. she loves to chew on paper, i don't know why. thessie has tried to emulate her, but it's just not the same as my furry, white paper-shredder. she LOVES to rip up paper (computer paper/post it's especially, but also loves magazines and newspapers) and she went to town this morning on my outline for my next paper. LUCKILY she ripped up the part that i wasn't really using so i can still read what it says....

ha, i forgot about the "6 things i love post"

i knew that if i didnt get it done yesterday i'd forget! but never fear, thanks to yall leaving me comments i remembered that i owed you all this post, and here it is! let's start with 3 things that aggrevate me and then go to 6 things i love:

3 things that make me frown/pull out my hair/plot someone's death:

1- when my prof consistently keeps us late as fuck for our monday night class. it goes from 6 to 8 20, but then he decided it goes until 9 and didnt really tell us. i walked out one day (i wasnt feeling very well AND i was like fuck this, im leaving) but i cant do that every day. some people commute to richmond and dont get home until 10 and then have to turn around the next morning for class! REALLY uncool. and this prof just cant tell time-- i was kept waiting 45 min this past friday for my appointment with him. i dropped my book in the hallway 3 times so he'd wrap it up with whoever was in there, but to no avail. this makes me Furrriousssss! (and yes, this happened tonight, as it does EVERY FREAKING MONDAY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)

2- the speed limit in williamsburg is 25, and most people go 25. wtf?! dont they know the add 10 rule? and when i'm on my way to class it's an add 20 rule! it makes my blood pressure rise to an unhealthy degree. people are also mostly tourists and the street signs and directions are confusing, so NO ONE ever does what they're supposed to (yeild here, stop here, etc.) AAARRRRGGGG

3- working a lot (4 days this week) for only $7.25. i know they cant afford to give me more, and i should probably get a job that pays more, but it's fun/i love it/everything's great OTHER than the fact that i make like NO $. i got a $75 paycheck the other day-- i was like are you kidding me?


6 things i LOVE sooo much:

1- fall in Virginia. you've got to be KIDDING me it's so awesome! chilly, crisp, sunny, awesome fall color, not too cold (saratoga springs, i'm looking at you). PERFECT! (this picture was taken out my bedroom window and looks at the ravine that the deer sleep in. it was taken last week)

2- my girls. it's so nice to have animals to hang out with/distract myself with while i'm eyebrow-deep in school stuff. had i only known this in undergrad, i would have been a happier person! seriously! i'm never really afraid at night like i prob. would be living alone in the woods b/c i have them there. its sort of irrational since they're not attack cats or anything but it's so comforting. and NOTHING makes me happier than to wake up and have two sleepy cats hanging out and snuggling. ADORABLE!

3- my favorite websites:
a) jezebel.com is so amazing, i would die without it. it's a total treat now-- i love it so much i never let myself read it until all (or most, or even half) of my work is done for the day. i may not agree with everything they say (megan, sometimes tracie, and i despise moe, thank god she's gone) but i keep abreast of the world through this. the comments are frusterating b/c people comment like effing CRAZY the literal SECOND the post is posted so i never comment b/c the thread is always too long (and archetype has always commented first anyway) but still-- LOVE.
(nessa, what's your jezzie comment name?)
b) nytimes.com i learn so much by reading a couple articles a day that i have no idea why i didnt do this long before. and its awesome b/c most of my friends read the same articles so we can talk about them
c) apartmenttherapy.com i dont have as much time for this one as i'd like, but it's so inspiring and awesome. the comments are where i get the most information and help and it's so cool to have this little community. i've posted many comments and 2 main questions so i feel like im part of it.

4- i have just discovered the beauty that is Itunes Genius tool. holy shit this thing is awesome! you pick a song that you like in your playlist and hit the button and it matches up all the songs in your entire library that it think match with that song and then (apparently) makes suggestions of things to buy based on what you like. it hasnt made any suggestions for me, possibly b/c i have so much music already? no idea. but i only listen to playlists (i have like 800) so having a tool that creates new playlists of songs i already like at the click of a button? GENIUS! oh wait, that was the idea... ;)

5- Houston. i love you houston, and i miss you. i love williamsburg too and am perfectly happy here and not very homesick at all, yet i just cannot WAIT to come home! i cant wait to see all of you and eat all the food (barnaby's, mai's, empire, brasil, mockingbird bistro, WHATABURGER OMG, etc etc) and just enjoy being HOME! get ready kids-- around dec 15th! YAY! (camera phone taken in 2002 or 2003)



6- school. i LOVE school! no matter how stressed out it makes me at times, i absolutely LOVE it here. i love the discussions, the discourse, the sharing of ideas and broadening of horizons/intellects. i LOVE LOVE LOVE it. and on that note, i'd better get back to my work so i dont fail out :) xo!

i've been tagged! joy!

hello everyone. good lord, it's been over a month since i last posted stuff on here! well i'm sure none of you are surprised by this news: GRAD SCHOOL IS INSANE. and keeps me busy. and even though i love every minute of it, fuck it's stressful/crazy/intense/hard as hell. there's a lot of things i've been up to lately so even though i had plans to post a pictures blog, i'll try to do that later and just move to handy bullet point format to get all this info out:

-- ive been tagged by cheryl, which is awesome! thank you! i will post my "6 things i love" later in the day because 1) this post is going to be long enough already and 2) if i dont do it today i might not get to it for a while. so that is forthcoming! posthaste!

- the weather here is GORGEOUS. i mean utterly beautiful fall color cold awesome. Kem pugh is visiting me this wkend (well she just left this morning) and we had a BLast-- but back to my weather thing-- on friday when she was here we were really hot and had to wear t shirts and jeans (it was like 78) yesterday it was 60s something, last night it was in the 40s and today its in the what, low 60s? its always colder in my cottage b/c i'm in the woods and right now i have the window open so the sunshine can pour in and i can hear the birds but i have to say, my toes are CHILLY!

- i decided to get a new birth control (Merina, it lasts 5 years and is AMAZING omg just ask me about it) and get off my anti anxiety meds at the same time a couple weeks ago, which was a BAD IDEA. all that at once-- am i insane?! the anxiety meds were making me sleep like insanely (14 hrs a night and still tired) so while i feel like myself again (esp. on this new birth control) i didnt really do the math and think, "even though i'm not really a super anxious person to need this medicine all the time, maybe staying on it in the middle of the most stressful situation ever would be smart" noooo i didnt even think it! so to say im stressed is an understatement. i'm contemplating going back on it but...well...you know, you never WANT to be dependent on pills of any kind, you know? and i know i really dont need them REALLY, but...
unfortunately this has brought out 2 of my worst coping mechanisms: shopping/buying stuff and eating. i have spent so much $ on random crap for myself that i told my parents i didnt want xmas/bday presents this year b/c i bought all the stuff i wanted. this is RIDICULOUS, especially knowing that i am a BROKE college student and all this $ i'm spending are LOANS but for some reason i just cant help it. i do, however, have a really cute new wardrobe for the winter (which i needed! and everything was on the sale rack at Gap or from h&m!)...
and the eating thing? i dont even know what to do about that. i'd love to claim being pregnant like chandra (well ok not really, that would screw up my life plan right now), but really i am just stressed out so i eat a ton of whatever it is that's in front of me (usually pasta b/c im cheap and its easy to make). i barely even taste it anymore! it's just a diversion from all the reading/work/paper writing/etc etc. has anyone ever conquered this bad habit? someone help! i'm definitely not getting skinnier and while i'm pretty good at being happy with my weight this is getting out of hand. i feel like a hippo. help!

- my birthday and halloween were awesome (pls refer to facebook and/or myspace for pics). i went as me circa prom may 2005 (thank god the dress still fit!), my friends looked awesome and one friend (a boy, which makes it funnier) went as ME. weird? yes. a lil' awkward? TOTALLY. but funny? fuck yes! hilarious.

- i met my landlady (she had to come here to put some stuff in the attic) and that was crazytown. she is totally batshit insane but in a nice way-- she kept telling me i had so much positive energy that negated the negative energy that was left by the previous tenant (?). she thought i was awesome (as does everyone) so thats cool, but she's def. a little weird. luckily since we're apparently BFFs now i can be like "hey i dont get my student loans until mid Feb. so can i pay rent for the semester then?" and hope she will be cool with it (she might be? maybe?)

-- shit it's already 11 am and i have SO much work to do. i had this come to jesus moment with my 2 advisors on friday when Kem was here and they were both like "work harder" which makes total sense but sends me into a tailspin of anxiety. basically i took a job at great harvest bread co (my 3rd one-- did i tell yall this already?) and they work me a LOT-- only like 12-16 hrs a week, which would normally be nothing, right? but NOT WHEN YOURE IN GRAD SCHOOL. most people in my program dont work, and if they did they've quit by now (srsly. i asked.) my prof literally told me to stop working so much b/c he could tell it's stressing me the fuck out. and even though i LOVE being at work (its fun to do, i love the product, i work with precious high school kids that are adorable, etc.) its really killing me. actually you know whats really killing me? the fact that i get $7.25 an hour. thats CRAP. i made more than that at my first Harv on 1960 and champion's forest! but they just opened and the owners still havent even taken a paycheck yet...sigh. at least theyre good people. and i get free coffee and bread and stuff like that...

-- ok my last thing that i HAVE to mention esp. b/c chandra and cheryl talked about this: the Twilight series. i am going to be dead honest here and say 1) I've never liked vampire stories, 2) i knew this was sentimental romance novel utter crap that people are freaking out over and 3) i read all of them in a week and while i understand why people love them (hell, i couldnt put the stupid things down) there is SO MUCH in there that is AWFUL. like how bella's so helpless! and she needs either a vampire or a werewolf to take care of her (and can i just say, anyone on team jacob needs a wake up call-- bella was NEVER going to end up with him! hello! who would even think that! and although jacob is awesome, who would like him better than edward! come on!). the author is Mormon and there are some Mormon overtones (unintentional im sure, but the patriarchal stuff is there, as well as the family being the eternal divine unit-- as evidenced by bella, edward and renesmee [WORST. NAME. EVER.] living together forever, etc)
SOOOO what is my point? my point is THIS IS MY NEW THESIS. yes everyone, i am dead serious. i hit a wall when researching Mormon feminism (my previous thesis topic) because i realized all the discourse on this subject had been written by Mormon (mostly former mormon, actually) feminists and what can i add to that as non-LDS (latter day saint)? what angle can i spin on that? it's possible i could come up with someone, BUT
for one of my classes (an english women's studies class) i came up with the idea of talking about Twilight and am comparing these novels to 19th century utopian literature. i dont WANT to b/c i HATE literary criticism but thats the direction im being pushed and you have to move outside your comfort zone in grad school (see? its HARD!). i told my 2 advisors about that paper and they were like, "fuck yeah that sounds awesome! seems like you got yourself a new thesis topic!" so (hypothetically, since everything is subject to change) i will be folding in my comparing Twilight to utopian literature into a broader thesis where i discuss romance novel formulas, why these books are so popular (i dont have an ultimate answer of course, but i will speculate and lean heavily on the Twilight message boards) and hopefully will answer the question many have asked, "what is a nice Mormon girl doing writing about vampires?" (answer: she turned the frightful/erotic/unknown into tame, caring, perfect beings that feed into our fantasies).


OK children! that was a lot of information. leave me comments and please, by all means, expect me to interview you about the Twilight books. xo everyone!
ps- im home for like a month from dec 15-jan 15th. get ready. chandra, i want to see a baby bump!